Sunday, March 22, 2015

Sal Panto finally has a Colonoscopy

           When I first read about this, I wondered, why is this news?

            Then it hit me: Sal was only having Bernie O'Hare's Lehigh Valley Ramblings blog removed from his ass!

Monday, March 9, 2015

How Northampton County Elected Officials would probably handle a Zombie Apocalypse

    I am a big fan of AMC's Walking Dead TV show. I haven't missed an episode in the 5 seasons it has been broadcast. This season, the Intrepid crew of survivors lead by a former Georgia Sheriff named Rick Grimes has had to deal with Cannibals as well as the regular passing herds of "walkers", and the deaths of two beloved characters. But here we are, after the most recent episode, with the possibility of a civilized, sustainable community. Their new possible home is located in the vicinty of Alexandria Virginia and it is all run by a former Ohio Congresswoman. Her name is Deanna, and she tells Sheriff Grimes she has a plan to rebuild society. She ended up in Alexandria because the Army Forced her to go there after she left Washington to go back to Ohio to help manage the Zombie Apocalypse crisis. Unfortunately she never made it to Ohio.
       But the idea of what local elected officials might do in an actual Zombie Apocalypse is intriguing to me.

        The group that I think would be the most interesting to watch would have to be the gang over in the People's Republic of Northampton County, as one of my favorite local bloggers call them.

        As the first reports of Walkers attacking the living and making more Walkers started filtering in, what would they do?
      Take County Executive John Brown, for example, I bet the first thing old Brownie would do is put out an unbid contract for a consultant to advise him on the best course of action. Probably someone from Bangor. The person may or may not already be a "Walker" but who could tell?
      Second, he would appoint an advisory board to think up ideas on what to do. There would be the start of the problem, as one of the political parties, most likely the Tea Party branch of the Republicans, would insist that at least two of the seven advisory board members be Walkers. It wouldn't matter that all the Walkers would want to do is stumble around biting people, in fact, it might be hard to distinguish Walkers from Tea Party people to begin with.
       With all the dickering going on, John Brown would likely try to set up a meeting for the Walker advisory board candidates with Controller Steve Barron, pretending he wanted Barron's input, but really just hoping Barron gets bit. Brown would probably offer Blogger Bernie O'hare press credentials to that event as well, hoping to literally, "kill two birds" with one stone.

      Meanwhile, Over in the City of Easton, Mayor Panto would urge City Council to pass a "Walker" Tax, requiring any and all Walkers to register with the city and pay a $50 registration fee. Walkers from Outside Easton who commute into town everyday to feed on residents would have to Pay $250. However, Panto would waive registration fees for anyone who volunteers to work for the Parking Authority, or signs a waiver vowing not to bite Easton Residents.

      District Attorney John Morganelli would likely Challenge Panto's plan in court in whatever way he found possible, but would likely compromise if Panto offered to let the prison hire Walkers as guards.

       Now there is no telling what smaller municipalities might do, because it is likely that folks like Police Chief Trachtca up in Nazareth would declare open hunting season on Walkers, and that opens the possibility that a few folks who aren't walkers might get "Accidentally" taken out, but that's the worst case scenario.

    Then again, Walkers could be a boon to Northampton County, John Brown could save a lot of money by replacing anyone who retires from the County Workforce with one. You have to wonder if Brown would notice the difference, even if the public might. 

       Now what would Congressman Matt Cartwright do?  Honestly, if he was on the floor of Congress when the Zombie Apocalypse broke out, he likely would not make it out of the town alive. Those people eat each other for Breakfast as it is. We would never see him again. And so it would go.

Monday, March 2, 2015

How you know when your local Municipality (Township) has too much money

            Let's say your Township has thirty thousand residents.  Most of your residents live in Single family homes with average income far above $60k per household. Your Township collect more money in taxes and fees than it knows what to do with. Now you have THREE Million Three hundred thousand some dollars laying around, burning a hole in the elected officials pockets. What do you do? Do you spend it on Public Safety? Do you join with neighboring municipalities for better police protection? Of Course not! You continue to mooch off the police forces of your neighboring municipalities, and tax the State police with your residential policing.

       In fact, one local municipality, (We are talking You, Lower Macungie!) has decided to spend that large amount of money on, of all things, Artificial turf for certain Sports fields. That's right, artificial turf, because grass is so much more expensive to maintain.

       This is the greatest example of spending stupidity in local government for the last decade. Shame on the three boneheaded Township Commissioners who voted for this travesty.

        What a waste of money. The three geniuses are nothing more than a continuation of the corrupt old gang that the people tried to vote out less than ten years ago. They put concerns of a powerful few ahead of the many. Why no one questions the motivations behind their actions escapes me. The two biggest motivations in the world are Love and Money. Which do you think drove this vote?

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

The Moratorium on the Death Penalty in PA is wrong

        There are so many issues that our new Governor has to deal with, and I never thought that the Death Penalty would be one.  The issue here is that the Governor is disregarding his oath of office to upheld the laws of the Commonwealth. By refusing to do his duty as Governor, he is disregarding the will of the people.
        We have a justice system that I admit is flawed, but that is why we rarely execute anyone in Pennsylvania, and over 200 citizens are sitting on death row. The legislature passed laws making the Death Penalty part of our legal system. A Governor signed those acts into law.

      They have not been repealed.

      So until such day as the citizens of Pennsylvania see fit to elect a legislature with a directive to change the law, then it is the duty of those presently elected to office to govern by those statutes.

      For the record, I believe all life is sacred, but to protect the greater welfare of the community, we need the deterrent of a Death Penalty for those with a wanton disregard for the lives of others. You can disagree with me all you want, just respect my right to disagree with you, and we can all live together in peace. It is not as hard as some would make it out to be.

Thursday, February 12, 2015

Don't Poke the Bear (AKA Lehigh County DA Jim Martin)

       So today in the paper, I read that Our local Law enforcement Grand Poobah has filed a defamation suit against a local Blogger. Said Blogger, whose name will not be mentioned here, has had an issue with how the County's Top Law enforcement officer handled a case concerning a crime in which the Blogger's daughter died due to the actions of another. The Blogger felt that the DA was not as interested in the pursuit of justice as he could have been.
      Depending on your perspective, that argument could be made about every criminal prosecution. Victims likely feel that criminals aren't getting punished enough, while criminals may feel that they are getting an extra heavy handed version of punishment.
      The Blogger feels that the DA didn't do a good enough job, and has spent what is now approaching nine years since the crime publicizing his opinion of that.  I have personally researched a lot of cases handled by the District Attorney's office over the years, the one that always bothered me the most was how the Charles Cullen (So called Grim Reaper Nurse) case shook out. I had questions on the lack of cooperation by the DA's office with the families who were suing the hospitals. But that is done and over with. The courts resolved it, and it is done. There was no sense in picking a fight with the DA that was not winnable.  Others were hot to trot to slam the DA, but I thought it was irresponsible, and not just a bad idea to post unfounded accusations, innuendo, and opinions not based on facts on the Internet. If you can't prove without any doubt that something is true, you should not post it, or go on local media and spout it as Gospel. Even if it is true, you should consider if there is any benefit to bringing it up for discussion. There are consequences to picking fights just for the hell of it.
        Which brings me to one of my favorite memories from growing up. Whenever I, or any of the neighbor kids got in a fight, after breaking it up, My Mom would regale us with the story of why we should never, "Poke the Bear."  The idea was we should never go looking for a fight, because you never know when the person you pick a fight with just might turn on you and kick your sorry ass.
         In the often told Bear story, a farmer decided to shoot the bear living in a cave at a far off point of his property even though the bear had never posed a threat to him or his livestock. The farmer was just being mean, and only wounded the bear. Sure, the bear COULD have been a threat, but he lived his life and more or less left the rest of the world alone. Unfortunately, the Farmer couldn't resist the opportunity to poke the bear by shooting him, so after getting shot the Bear then mauled the farmer, and the Farmer ended up dying. Then the Game Warden came, and killed the Bear.
        Once again, The moral of the story was, don't start a fight for the hell of it, because in the end, nobody wins.

        The Blogger has been poking DA Jim Martin for far too many years, and now the Bear has turned to come and get his pound of flesh. All stories end differently to some degree. The game warden in this case is going to be a judge. The only thing I am certain of is that no one is going to win.

Thursday, June 5, 2014

How many More?

Another shooting today. In Seattle. Please tell me, how many more have to die? I am a military trained handler and owner of firearms. I have a concealed carry permit.
  I am a responsible, trained handler of firearms.
     Yet we allow any fricking nutcase the right to buy weapons and ammunition. The NRA supports this. I can't support that. The NRA needs to rethink its' priorities. Thank You.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Two Southwest Lehigh County Townships announce Merger!

   In an announcement that did not really come as a surprise, Officials from Upper and Lower Macungie Township today made public their plan to merge and create one municipality of 80,000+ citizens.
     This new town will be called "JAINDL" after the family that owns all the available farmland/eventual warehouse space. It is expected that Macungie and Alburtis Boroughs will succumb to pressure and allow themselves to be absorbed into "JAINDL".
    Some residents might complain, but they will likely be distracted by their bluetooth while driving and soon forget what they were complaining about. Resistance is futile.